Leliana mentioned the
Grey Wardens have gone missing. Turns out they’re some
anti-darkspawn cultists. Anyway, she’d heard of one in the
Hinterlands, called Blackwall. Weirdly, he had no idea his chums have
gone missing, and no idea why. Being as much use as pineapple on
pizza, I was set to leave but, even more oddly,
he offered to join up. I was going to tell him to sod off, but he
explained Wardens have treaties compelling others to help them, and
that’s too good to miss.
In
Orlais, I recruited Sera and Vivienne, although I suspect that
might’ve been a mistake. Sera’s a low level criminal, a tame elf
used to human ways, such as atrocious hair. Vivles is a pro-chantry,
pro-circle orthodox creature, so brainwashed she actually loves the
chains the shem put on mages. But she does have connections with
Orlesian nobility. I let let her join, but I’m going to have to
keep an eye on her.
On
the Storm Coast, I hired the Bull’s Chargers. They’re a mercenary
group led by a one-eyed Qunari with the neck of a bull and a pebble
for a brain. The fool goes into battle topless, wearing ridiculous
baggy trousers. And I thought Orlesians had daft ideas about fashion.
With an attitude like that to armour, no wonder he lost an eye. Could
be a useful meatshield, though.
The
Inquisition is pretty strong now. I have spies and connections from
the Qunari to the Orlesian court. Decision time has arrived. Do I
approach the rebel mages or the templars for help destroying the
Breach (as the hole in the sky has become known)?
Lord Seeker Lucius
seemed about as friendly as a scorpion’s handshake, so I decided to
visit Redcliffe village to hear out Grand Enchanter Fiona. Bizarrely,
the bridge between the village and castle has broken and nobody
mended it. I didn’t see a pulley system or suchlike set up to get
food to the castle either. Bloody weird. I knew humans were stupid,
but that’s some elite level idiocy.
I was getting myself
some booze in the pub when I bumped into Fiona. She claimed to have
no knowledge of inviting me. Either she’s a liar or someone else
tricked me. Even worse, the damned fool mages have signed themselves
into indentured servitude to Alexius, a Tevinter magister. And the
local lord has run off. The whole thing stinks.
Halfway through
negotiating with Alexius (who has the wardrobe of a drunken jester),
we were interrupted by his son Felix feigning illness to give me a
note. It asked me to visit the chantry, claiming I was in danger.
Naturally, I went along. After a little light demon-slaying, ’twas
time for a chat with Felix and Dorian, Alexius’ former protégé.
Turns out the jester is in a cult called the Venatori, and they’re
obsessed with me. So obsessed, in fact, they used wildly unstable
time magic to get here and secure the mages’ allegiance ahead of
me.
I already have a hole
in the sky to fix. I could do without the unravelling of time as
well.
Attack is the best form
of defence, and confronting Alexius went very well, up until the
point he hurled me and Dorian through time. We learnt from Fiona, who
was busy turning into a lump of red lyrium, that two years had passed
and ‘the Elder One’ (Alexius’ master) had conquered the world.
Dorian responded by saying he could send us back if we find the
amulet of Alexius. We shall see if he lives up to his moustache.
Leliana was still
alive, although looking pretty rough. Humans age even worse than I
thought. In the end, it was a simple matter of killing Alexius and
using the amulet to return to the present, where he surrendered
pretty tamely.
Chose to make the mages
my allies. It’ll guarantee their loyalty and stop them returning to
the chantry. Anyway, all that’s left is to close the Breach and I
can relax for a moment.
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