So, The Last Jedi [spoilers galore]

I am, it’s fair to say, rather late to this tap dance. However, I did recently see this film. And so I thought I’d ramble about it (this is my blog, after all, home of rambling about sci-fi and fantasy. And history).

For those who haven’t seen it yet, this ramble will be laden with spoilers, so if you don’t want them, stop reading now.

Sometimes in really grim/serious films (Batman Begins, for example) I wish they’d add a little levity. I don’t mean change the overall tone, but people crack jokes, even if just as a coping mechanism in terrible situations. In World War One, when soldiers were pinned down in trenches with dead friends, they’d prop the bodies up (mimicking a soldier on guard duty) and shake their hand when they walked past. It’s ok to have a joke now and then, even if it’s still pretty grim.

The Last Jedi is the opposite. It’s ok to be serious now and then. Impending evacuation under heavy fire, wildly outgunned? Better crack a joke then. Waking up from some sort of medically induced coma? Slapstick and leaking time.

Star Wars has always been (mostly) family friendly (very friendly if you include the incestuous kissing in Empire Strikes Back). That doesn’t mean it can’t take things seriously, just occasionally, when dealing with what is, essentially, war between good and evil. Darth Vader could crack a joke (as Captain Needa discovered), but he was still a serious character. Hux is practically comic relief.

Captain Phasma and her rubbishness returns. Cool armour, lame turn of events. And then there’s Snoke (daft name), the pale imitation of Emperor Palpatine. But what really annoyed me about Snoke was how damned contrived and clunky the dialogue was when he ‘read Kylo Ren’s mind’ and saw him turn the lightsabre (yes, Americans, sabre is spelt this way in England) and kill his ‘true enemy’. … Decent twist to have him kill Snoke but the lumbering awkwardness of the dialogue and the mental hoops to jump through detracted from it.

In the same way JJ Abrams doesn’t understand the basic concept of space being big, it seems Rian Johnson didn’t understand the first thing about Star Wars. Or, if he did, he wanted to ‘interpret’ it (ie damn internal consistency) in the same way that Russell T Davies buggered up Davros’ character in New Who*. Luke, the hopeful hero who believed he could turn Darth Vader, apparently now thinks about killing his own student whilst he sleeps, and attempts it in such an incompetent way he accidentally turns said student evil. And is also capable of being defeated by same student.

Right.

Not only that, Luke apparently knows how to speak Wookie less well than Rey, who helpfully translates what Luke’s close friend Chewbacca has to say.

The plot wasn’t hugely engaging. Star Wars does get knocked for rehashing the Death Star story (although it’s worth noting that The Empire Strikes Back had nothing to do with that and is the best film by a mile), but this effort did make me wish there was a superweapon on the loose.

The storyline is that they need fuel after evacuating. The First Order is chasing down the tiny remnants of the Rebellion. Rightyho. Not the most engaging plot ever.

I do disagree with some criticism I’ve read. Rose wasn’t my favourite character but she wasn’t terrible.

Some have criticised the revelation that Rey’s parents were not especially significant, but I don’t think that was a problem at all. Not everyone has to be related. Plus, the weird relationship she develops with Kylo Ren would’ve been, er, a bit weirder if they’d been related and she *had* been Luke’s daughter.

I think Luke appearing effectively as an astral projection to Kylo Ren was fine (that’s a new power rather than one which contradicts previous rules of the universe), although his inexplicable death afterwards was both nonsensical and a very stupid way of killing one of the franchise’s key characters.

It was absolutely irrational that Admiral Holdo decided to ram, at hyperspeed, Snoke’s ship. And that it worked. Yes, noble self-sacrifice, etc. But it doesn’t actually make any bloody sense at all. The premise was that the Rebel cruiser was the only ship that could be tracked and therefore the smaller escaping ships would be safe as all First Order attention would be on the cruiser Holdo was piloting. She was drawing it away and would be killed (the plan was foiled when the First Order was able to fire on the smaller ships after all).

So why not ram Snoke’s ship to start with? If you’re certain to die and the options are to die alone or take down a huge ship and thousands of enemies, why wouldn’t the latter be your first option? For that matter, why wasn’t that approach used with the Death Stars? Or the Starkiller base? You don’t even need a human aboard, just get a droid to pilot a large, empty ship. I’m really not a fan of plot ‘twists’ that don’t actually make any sense.

I’d quite like to watch Phantom Menace again to have a side-by-side view of the films. I suspect the prequel would look good by way of comparison.

The flaws with The Last Jedi, besides an uninspiring story, is that it contradicts what’s been previously established, most obviously with Luke’s character. It also has a lot of stuff that just feels unrealistic (yes, it’s sci-fi and gets to break rules on faster than light travel, but even fantastical stories have to maintain their own rules and have some semblance of contextual realism. Otherwise Snoke could just snap the Rebel ships in two using the power of his mind).

I tend not to do film rambles/reviews, so didn’t post about this before, but I thought Rogue One was pretty good. Had weak spots, of course, but I liked the sense of certain doom, loved the ending, and, although some better characters would’ve been good (likewise if the pointless monks had been axed) it was a decent film.

The Last Jedi is the weakest of the Star Wars films I’ve seen (all except Solo). I do think the reaction has been over the top. Whilst not a great film, it’s still just a film. Pouring abuse over people is not limited to those who hate The Last Jedi, but it’s depressing to see (videogame developers, politicians, almost anyone in the public eye can get dogpiled with venom, sadly).

I’ve seen a little of the fallout from the film. Boycott for Solo, hate for Rian Johnson and the actress who plays Rose and so on. Disliking a film is fine but personalising hatred online is just wrong. It’s like complaining the well water is brackish and pouring in poison.

Anyway, those are my rambling thoughts on The Last Jedi.

Thaddeus

*Spoilers for Doctor Who:

Davros’ whole character arc was creating the daleks, being betrayed by them and then trying to (and eventually succeeding) in reasserting control. Then in New Who, he actually agrees to be the compliant captive of the dalek leader. Utter tosh. Tosh, I tell you!

Fantastical music

The Adventures of Sir Edric came out about a week ago, and The Haunting of Lake Manor Hotel is out in six days (pre-order here), so the time is right for a musical interlude.

I don’t always listen to music when writing, but when I do it’s often fantastical stuff. Soundtracks from films and videogames, as well as classical and rock music, and so forth.

One of my favourites, which is also the track for an excellent part of The Fellowship of the Ring, is The Bridge of Khazad Dum.

Dragon Age 2’s best song was saved until the end (Rogue Heart):

Dragon Age: Inquisition has some excellent bard music. One of the best songs is the rather sad Once We Were.

The Witcher 3’s got a great soundtrack, including Leo’s Farewell.

A few tunes spring to mind for Sir Edric (Brahms’ Hungarian Dance number 5, Rossini’s William Tell Overture), but Offenbach’s Can-Can music (technically, Orpheus-Quadrille Op.236), is probably the most fitting.

Other music posts from March 2011 and October 2011. 

Thaddeus

Review: 300

Saw the film a few days ago. It’s pretty recent, and is a stylised take on the epic stand by 300 Spartans at Thermopylae.

Anyone looking for a historically accurate film shouldn’t watch it, but if you just want to suspend intelligent thought for an hour or two and enjoy some gore it should appeal.

It’s similar to the Spartacus TV series, although probably with less gore, far less sex (but still some) and a penchant for the freakish and repulsive lacking in the TV programme (which is better).

Leonidas is the protagonist, and is portrayed as a two-dimensional, uncompromising and heroic chap, entirely accepting of his highly probable death. Xerxes, the antagonist, is a strange character in the film, replete with golden body piercings and other jewellery (I was reminded somewhat of a Goa’uld from Stargate), aspirations of godhood and great height.

The Greeks are painted as mostly heroic (the Spartan 300 dominate airtime) with the odd greedy traitor. The Persians come across as bloodthirsty conquerors led by a man of questionable grooming habits. The path around the Hot Gates is revealed to Xerxes by a malformed Spartan denied the right to fight. Even allowing for artistic licence it seems odd that he would even have been allowed to live, given the practice of exposure (killing infants whose appearance is displeasing). Furthermore, the weird Persian camp featured mutilated and scarred women whose sole purpose seemed to be to disgust. Surely the Great King would just have a large number of lovely ladies attending him and tempting the deformed traitor?

There’s quite a bit of gore splashed about, and the film takes a rather comic book approach to the violence. The drum of saving freedom (ironic, coming as it does from a king of the hegemonic Spartan city-state) is beaten to within an inch of its life.

I’d say it’s passable, but hardly a classic. There was more scope for exploring the irony of Sparta saving democracy and Athens, their ancient enemy, and the long-term contests between the Hellenistic world and Persia. However, in terms of what it sets out to do (be a couple of hours of bloody entertainment) it’s ok.

Thaddeus